Individual Counseling | Plano TX
Healing & Rebuilding After Divorce
The divorce is over, but the work isn’t done. Therapy to help you process what happened, understand your patterns, and build a future you actually want.
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The Next Step in Your Journey
The Next Step in Post-Divorce Healing & Rebuilding
Post-divorce recovery is not about moving on or getting over it. It’s more about adjusting to your new normal, rebuilding your sense of self, and creating a new vision and plan for your future.
Processing grief, anger, loneliness, and other complex emotions.
Adjusting to a different lifestyle: financially, socially, and logistically.
Rebuilding your sense of self and exploring what’s next.
The Divorce is Technically Over. Now What?
You’re officially divorced. The uncertainty and unknown are over, but maybe it doesn’t feel over. You’ve been in crisis mode for a while, and it can be hard to slow your nervous system while you adapt to your new normal.
This new normal might feel temporary while you’re getting on your feet, or until you figure out what’s next. It’s often a time of adjustment.
You might be:
- Waking up in a place that doesn’t feel like home
- Splitting holidays with your kids
- Managing money differently than before
- Feeling lonely, even though the marriage was lonely too
- Watching your ex move on while you’re still figuring things out
- Exploring dating
- Trying to figure out who you are now
Everyone expects you to “move on”, but it’s not that easy, and everyone’s timeline looks different.
This phase is harder than people realize.
Getting through the divorce was survival mode. What comes after is rebuilding – that’s where you process what happened, adjust to this new life, rebuild your confidence, figure out what you actually want for your future, and how to make it happen.
You survived the crisis. Now comes the work of creating something new.
Processing Grief, Anger, Loneliness, and Other Complex Emotions
It shows up in waves, sometimes years later. And it’s not just sadness—it’s anger, relief, guilt, loneliness, and confusion all mixed together. You feel contradictory things that don’t make sense to anyone else. And maybe your besties and family are tired of hearing about it.
How therapy helps:
- Separate what you’re actually grieving (the person, the future, your identity)
- Process anger without acting on it or suppressing it
- Work through guilt about feeling relieved or making this choice
- Navigate loneliness and rebuild connection
- Handle emotional triggers as they come up
The difference therapy makes:
Therapy gives you space to feel everything without judgment and tools to process it without getting stuck.
Adjusting to a Different Lifestyle: Financially, Socially & Logistically
You’re probably managing finances differently (maybe with a single income for the first time in a long time). Maybe you’re working after having been a homemaker. You might be navigating custody schedules and co-parenting. You’re making decisions alone, and all of this is happening while you’re still emotionally processing.
What we work on in therapy:
- Adjusting to financial changes and making decisions about money
- Rebuilding social connections that fit your new life
- Co-parenting without constant conflict
- Exploring dating (if you’re ready)
- Handling complex emotions about coparenting, money, or lifestyle changes
Rebuilding Your Sense of Self & Exploring What’s Next
Usually, both people play a role in why their marriage failed. Sometimes it’s people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, perfectionism, need for control, untreated ADHD, etc. These tendancies can trap you in patterns that become unhealthy over time. But you can work on them and the same patterns don’t have to repeat in your next relationship.
What we work on:
- Identifying your patterns and where they came from
- Understanding your role in what happened
- Building skills you never learned
- Rebuilding confidence and sense of self
- Preparing for healthier relationships
- Creating a new vision for your future
The difference:
You don’t have to date again and hope for the best. You can explore what needs to change so your next relationship is fundamentally different.
Ellery Wren, LPC Associate
Supervised by Belinda Gale Hartschuh, LMFT-S, LPC-S
She/Her
I Get It (And I’m Here for Your Story, Not Mine)
I’m a licensed professional counselor in Plano, Texas, specializing in relationship transitions – particularly divorce and separation. I also happen to be divorced myself.
Does that mean I know exactly what you’re going through? No. Your relationship, your circumstances, and your emotions are unique to your divorce journey. But I might get it in a way that a non-divorced therapist might not fully grasp.
I’m not here to tell you my story, give you advice, or tell you it’s all going to be okay. I’m here to walk this journey with you – to help you think clearly, process complex and conflicting emotions, and make decisions that will help you land on your feet.
I’m also trained in couples therapy and discernment counseling, which means I understand relationship complexity from multiple angles. I’ve worked with people who are certain they want out, people who are agonizing over whether to stay (learn about contemplating divorce), and people who feel trapped with no good options.
My approach:
You’re the expert on your life. I’m the person who helps you sort through it when everything feels overwhelming—whether you’re in crisis mode during divorce, adjusting to your new normal, creating new dreams for your future, or doing the deeper work of understanding what happened and making sure it doesn’t happen again.
Curious about my education and training, learn more about me.
Goldfinch Counseling
The Office
We see clients in-person in our Plano Texas office (just south of Frisco), at 8105 Rasor Blvd, Suite 225, Plano TX 75075.
Goldfinch Counseling
Post-Divorce Therapy FAQs
These are some of the most common questions for those navigating a divorce and the healing afterward.
It's been a year. Shouldn't I be over this by now?
Can you see both me and my spouse (or soon-to-be-ex)?
No. If I work with you individually, I can’t also see your spouse – it creates a conflict of interest. My role is to support you specifically, which means I can’t be neutral if I’m also hearing your ex’s perspective.
If you’re both looking for support during the divorce process, you’ll each need your own therapist. If you’re trying to decide whether to divorce, discernment counseling with both of you together might be appropriate.
Everyone says I should just "move on." Why can't I?
It’s not so simple, and moving on can mean different things to different people. Sometimes, people who tell you to move on are simply tired of hearing about your situation. They might have empathy fatigue, and they just can’t support you in this way anymore.
But that doesn’t mean that you have to suffer alone or in silence. You might need help “moving on”, which looks different for everyone.
Moving on isn’t just a decision you make. It happens over time, and you process your divorce, what happened, adjust to your new life, discover or rediscover yourself, plan for a new future, and heal. This takes time, and it might also involve trauma therapy, revisiting patterns established in childhood (often originating from perfectionism, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, etc.).
Because “moving on” isn’t a thing you do—it’s a result of doing the work. You can’t just decide to stop feeling grief or suddenly trust yourself again. You have to process what happened, rebuild your confidence, and create something new. That’s not something you force. It’s something you work toward.
I feel like I wasted years on the wrong person. How do I not feel like a failure?
I'm worried I'll just end up talking about my ex the whole time and never move forward.
That’s okay. You may need to talk about your ex and everything you went through for a while. This is especially true if the demise of your marriage was traumatic (abuse, infidelity, substance abuse, etc). You might need time to talk through everything – or even specific trauma therapy like EMDR.
Eventually, you’ll move to other topics, and your ex will become a smaller and smaller part of your story and occupy a smaller percentage of your mind. It’s a process.
The Complete Journey
Support at Every Stage of Divorce
We help through the entire divorce journey: from contemplation, navigating the process, and healing afterward.
Individual Divorce Contemplation
If you need to explore the decision on your own, individual therapy helps you figure out if your marriage is fixable, what you want, and what divorce would really look like.
Going Through a Divorce
If you decide to separate, therapy helps you think clearly, process emotions, and navigate the chaos of divorce—from custody decisions to co-parenting to rebuilding.
Healing After Divorce
After the crisis is over, the deeper work begins. Understand what happened, identify your patterns, rebuild confidence, and make sure your next relationship is different.
In-person or Online
Plano Texas Post-Divorce Healing & Rebuilding Therapy
We see therapy clients in-person and online from our Plano, Texas office.
Most of our clients are from:
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Schedule an appointment, and let’s get you on a better path.